This is the lovely Barbie having a very bad hair day. So, speaking reassuringly in my most Concerned Crone tone, 'Barb,' I gently reasoned. 'You're so not alone, here girlfriend. Those bouff-heads at Charles Worthington reckon today's the day when Brits are most in need of a serious hair fix, since stats show a 35% rise in sales of hair treatments each February 2nd.' Barbie's limpid blue eyes widened in wonder. I knew what she was thinking; how did I know such things? More to the point, how could she fix that blasted Barnett and fast? 'Listen up, I said. First off, rake a Tangle Teezer through that mangy mane and you'll sleek that frizz, no problem. It's also brilliant at gently sorting dyed-to-death locks like yours, especially when it's wet and matts up like wire wool.' Barbie looked wounded for a moment, but I just knew she thought the new Compact Styler was rather fab. So I pressed on purposefully. 'Charles Worthington Salon at Home Strength and Repair kit's just the thing to restore dry, damaged and fragile hair. There's a shampoo, mask and pre-wash Repair Oil that doesn't half put back the shine and makes hair less brittle, too.' Barbie was perking up now. She'd spotted my pink jumbo rollers - Poundland's finest, don'tcha know. 'Blow-dry your hair section by section. Then when each section's still warm quickly roll it up and pin,' I counselled. 'Leave the hair to cool round the roller to set that smooth bounce. An all-over whoosh of Davines' excellent Defining Glam Power Spray sheens as it holds that 'oomph. Honestly, it's what I do every day!' I encouraged. Fifteen minutes, a final Tangle Teeze and a root-zooming of hairspray later, Barbie was tossing the gloss like she owned it. 'Where's Ken?" I enquired mildly and she shot me a minxy kind of look that said 'Who gives a ••••?" as she pulled out her crystal-studded i-phone. Dunno who she's texting now. Surely not her hairdresser?